Why Every Parent Needs to Read These Numbers
Your teenager walked into their bedroom with a phone in hand. Again.
You could assume that they’re just watching videos or texting friends. But the actuality of what teens face online is a world apart from what most parents probably envision.
The internet is now home for teens too. It is where they socialize, learn and figure out who they are. But this digital playground also has real risks, many of which families don’t fully understand.
The record I am about to give you is not intended to scare. They’re meant to wake you up. Because when you know what the real threats are that your child faces online, you can take actual steps to protect them.
People, let’s get into the numbers that every parent should read.
The Shocking Truth About Screen Time
Stat #1: Teens are Logged In an Average of 8.5 Hours a Day on Screen
Yes, you read that correctly. Eight and a half hours.
It’s more time than most adults spend at work. Teens spend more of their life interacting with screens than they do sleeping, going to school and face-to-face socializing.
It’s not only that this screen time is wasted hours. It contributes to mental health, sleep and physical development. The blue light on screens interferes with ordinary sleep patterns, making you feel tired and unable to concentrate in school.
Just consider what else could be done in those 8.5 hours. That’s enough time to become proficient at playing a musical instrument, expert in a sport, or develop lasting (human) friendships in person.
Stat #2: 95% of Teens Have Smartphones
Smartphones are as ubiquitous for teenagers as backpacks. There’s a powerful computer in nearly every teenager’s pocket as they walk through school hallways.
And this universal access also means that online threats aren’t confined to any particular group or economic class. Any teenager with a smartphone can be exposed to inappropriate material, cyberbullies or strangers within moments.
The smartphone revolution happened fast. A lot of parents did not come of age with this technology, causing the knowledge gap between generations. Your teen may know how to work their phone, but do they realize the dangers hiding behind every app and in all of cyberspace?
Cyberbullying: The Invisible Threat
Stat #3: 59% of Teenagers Have Been Victims Of Cyberbullying
Adolescents between the ages of 12 and 17 have experienced online bullying at higher rates than any other age groups.
Unlike traditional bullying which stops when school ends, cyberbullying follows teenagers home. It invades their bedrooms, interrupts their sleep and turns them into nervous wrecks.
The attacks arrive in text messages, social media posts, group chats and photo-sharing apps. Bullies are free to taunt victims from behind anonymous accounts, making it more difficult to hold them accountable.
Adding to my distress is that many teens are silent sufferers. Embarrassed, afraid of losing phone privileges or fearful parents won’t understand.
Stat #4: Only 1 in 10 Victims Tell Their Parents
This number points to an enormous family communication gap between parents and adolescents.
Ninety percent of teenagers who are cyberbullied keep silent about it to adults who could help them. Others fear that their parents will overreact by taking away their devices. Others think their parents won’t “get” the digital world.
That silence only perpetuates and emboldens the bullies. Leaving teens to fend for themselves in these assaults — which can drive them into depression, anxiety, even self-harm — is not something their parents should be counting on.
Establishing trust and keeping the lines of communication open are not optional anymore. It’s a matter of your teen’s safety.
The Child Predator Problem Parents Can’t Ignore
Stat #5: 1 out of 7 Children Are Victims of Unwanted Sexual Solicitation Online
These aren’t rare isolated incidents. They’re happening to children in every community, every day.
Online predators are highly skilled at grooming children. They began with friendly conversation, built trust over time, and slowly brought up inappropriate subjects or requests.
All the popular gaming platforms, social media sites and chat apps are fertile ground for these toxic interactions. Predators are aware where teenagers hang out on the internet and they lure them specifically in those platforms.
The veil of the internet allows adults to hide behind the appearance of teenagers. They invent false identities, adopt street lingo and profess to have shared hobbies or ethnic backgrounds in order to build trust.
Stat #6: 40% of Teens Have Talked to Someone Online Whom They’ve Never Met
For this generation, making new friends online is par for the course.
If your teen thinks it’s just fine to shoot the breeze with some kid on the other side of the country who likes a video game or TV show as much as they do, then what’s so wrong about that? And yet, they don’t have enough life experience to see warning signs of manipulation or danger.
They are not all predators, but each connection carries the risk of one. Teens commonly overshare personal information without understanding the risks like where they are, which school they attend, what their daily schedules entail.
This statistic is a stark reminder of the importance to have continual discussions with young people about stranger danger online. For more comprehensive resources on protecting your family, visit our complete internet safety guide.
Social Media’s Dark Side
Stat #7: 70% of Teens Shield Their Online Behavior from Parents
Most teens work to hide what they do online from their parents.
They use incognito browsing modes, remove chat histories and have hidden profiles parents didn’t know about; they access apps that look like calculators but turn out to be virtual locks for hiding photos and messages.
This concealment isn’t always sinister. Teens sometimes just want privacy as they grapple with their identity. But it also means that parents don’t know when their 15-year-old encounters something dangerous online.
The issue isn’t whether your teenager is entitled to privacy. It’s finding a way to reconcile that privacy with safety in a world filled with real threats.
Stat #8: Teens Who Spend 5+ Hours A Day On Social Media Are Three Times More Likely to Feel Depressed
The relationship between social media and mental health is no longer just theoretical, either. The numbers prove it.
Constant comparison to filtered, perfect-appearing lives ensures a feeling of defeat. The imperative to receive likes and comments should not be what makes us feel worthy as human beings. FOMO drives teenagers to keep scrolling when they should be sleeping or experiencing real life.
Social media is designed to be addictive. They employ the same psychological trickery that is found in gambling to produce dopamine hits which keep users coming back.
Your teenager’s mental health might be in jeopardy, and those favorite apps of his or hers could very well be the culprits.
Content Considerations That Keep Safety Experts Up at Night
Stat #9: 93% of Boys, 62% of Girls Are Exposed to Online Porn Before Age 18
This exposure is often accidental, but the effect isn’t.
Porn fuels unrealistic fantasy scenarios about sex and intimacy. It can serve to normalize violence and unhealthy dynamics. Early exposure influences brain development and molds attitudes towards the opposite sex.
Most parents trust that their filters and parental controls suffice. But porn still makes its way through pop-up ads, innocent-seeming websites and direct shares from peers.
The typical first exposure is at 11 years old. If you think your teenager is too young to have seen it, you’re almost certainly wrong.
Stat #10: 15% of Teenagers Admit to Sexting
A disturbing proportion of teens have sent or received explicit messages.
Too many teenagers fail to realize that sharing sexually explicit images is illegal when it’s done with minors. They also don’t get the whole permanence of digital content. Screenshots are forever and a picture can travel way, way beyond the intended recipient.
Relationships will end, but those pictures don’t go away. Ex-partners might distribute embarrassing private images for revenge, causing embarrassment, bullying and possibly criminal action.
And countless teens have been charged with crimes for possessing or distributing their own images. In other instances, the legal system classifies teen sexting as child pornography with consequences that can prove life-altering for young people, from sex offender registration onwards.
Privacy Problems in Public Places
Stat #11: 45% of Teens Share Location in Posts
Teens constantly share information that makes it easy to locate them in the real world.
They check in at restaurants, tag their photos with identifiable landmarks, share school names and mascots, post about where they chill after school.
Stalkers, predators and criminals will use this information to hunt down victims. What sounds like harmless sharing can give a clear road map to your teen’s daily life.
On most apps, location-tracking is also a default setting. Your teen may also be unwittingly streaming their location.
Stat #12: Just 34% of Teens Change Their Privacy Settings Often
When teens download apps or create accounts, they tend to go with the default settings.
These defaults are intended to Gather Most and Share Most. There’s money in user data, so companies don’t make privacy easy.
Teens don’t read user agreements. They click “accept” without knowing what they are consenting to. This allows companies to read their photos, contacts, location history and messages.
It is important to educate teenagers to become active managers of their privacy settings. But parents have to understand these settings first.
The Gaming World’s Hidden Risks
Stat #13: 75% of Teens Voice Chat Online While Playing Games
Gaming is no longer something one does alone. The majority of games have a voice chat option, where you can talk to other players using your microphone.
This enhances games as social and playful, but it also connects teens with strangers. Other players could be adults pretending to be children. It may involve racist or sexist language, or it may be violent. They can do things like attempt to force conversations off the game and into less policed spaces.
Gaming may seem like innocent fun to parents. But even if the social dimension of contemporary gaming introduces the same risks present on social media platforms.
Voice chat is a way to get around many of the controls on text. Parents can’t look back at or record these conversations, making it more difficult to detect issues.
Stat #14: 60% of Parents Don’t Have Rules About the Internet
This is perhaps the most troubling statistic of all.
But despite all these risks, most families lack rules and guidelines about online behavior. It’s a place where there are no rules for screen time, which apps can be used, what websites should not be visited and punishments for breaking family pacts.
When students don’t feel like there are clear expectations, they develop their own set of rules. They are trying to navigate a treacherous digital landscape with no map and far too few guardians.
Boundaries aren’t about controlling your teen. It’s about teaching them to make safe choices in an environment commodified around taking advantage of them.
What These Numbers Mean for Your Family
Considering all of these statistics collectively, we have very serious cause for alarm. The internet is an incredible platform for learning, creativity and building bonds of friendship. Yet it poses real dangers previous generations did not face.
Your teenager is spending loads of time online. They may already have been subjected to cyberbullying, seen inappropriate content or have been approached by strangers. Chances are they’re hiding at least some of their activity from you.
The good news, however, is that being aware of the problem is the first step in protecting oneself from it.
Now that you have these facts, you can begin to have meaningful conversations with your teenager. You can implement safety measures. You can establish trust that empowers your teen to confide in you when they face online issues.
Act Now: What Parents Can Do Now
Knowledge divorced from action helps no one. Here’s what you can do today:
Begin discussing your teen’s experiences online. Ask questions without judgment. Listen more than you lecture. Foster an environment in which they can feel comfortable admitting to mistakes or asking for help.
Set clear family rules on use of the internet together. Rules are easier to abide by when they’re the ones that teenagers helped create. Talk about parameters around screen time, the type of media content you expect your child to consume, privacy settings and consequences.
That is where parental-control apps come in, but don’t believe they are a magic shield. Anything technology does is useful but it can never replace active parenting and open communication.
Familiarize yourself with the apps and platforms your teen is on. Download them yourself. Learn how they work. Understand their risks and benefits.
Model healthy digital habits. Your teen sees how you interact with technology. They have scout-like minds, and if you are always on your phone, they’ll learn that’s a good behavior.
Frequently Asked Questions
How much screen time should teenagers be allowed?
Experts suggest that teens should have no more than two hours of recreational screen time a day, not including homework. But that varies according to the individual. Instead, concentrate on making sure screen time doesn’t displace sleep, exercise, face-to-face relationships and schoolwork.
Should I ‘spy’ on my teen’s text messages and social media?
This will depend on how old your teenager is, their maturity level and their track records of responsible behavior. Teens in junior high and younger generally need more supervision. Let it be known what you’re looking for and why. As the teens exhibit good judgment and trust develops, monitoring should decline.
What if my teenager is being bullied on the internet?
Document everything by taking screenshots. Don’t engage with the bully. Report the behavior on whichever platform it is happening. If the bully is a classmate, contact the school of your teen. If the threats involve physical harm or blackmail, consider getting police involved. Above all, get your teen the emotional support (and professional counseling if necessary) he or she may need to heal emotionally from what they’ve experienced. The Cyberbullying Research Center offers additional resources and guidance for families dealing with online harassment.
How do I know if my teenager has an unhealthy relationship with technology?
Warning signs include falling grades, withdrawal from family and friends, keeping devices private or hidden (phones are taken to the toilet), inability to cut down screen use even if they want to, sleep disruption caused by late-night cell phone use, mood changes when kids can’t be on their screens and no longer engaging in activities previously enjoyed offline.
Are parental control apps effective?
Parental controls are one weapon in your safety arsenal, but they’re not foolproof. Tech-savvy teens can find workarounds. These are most effective when used in conjunction with open lines of communication, teaching about online safety and building a foundation of trust. It should supplement your parenting, not supplant it.
How old should my child be when they get a smartphone?
There is no one-size-fits-all ideal age. Think about your child’s level of maturity, ability to follow rules, whether they need it for legitimate reasons — say staying in touch after school — and how closely you’ll be able to monitor and guide their use. Many experts recommend waiting at least until middle school, beginning with stripped-down devices before graduating to full smartphones.
The Bottom Line
These 14 numbers show us why online safety is not a one-time talk, nor something that happens to other people’s families. It’s a continual struggle that almost every parent with a teenager has to navigate.
The digital world moves fast. Fresh apps, platforms and hazards crop up all the time. Staying in the know and keeping up with your teen’s online world is an ongoing job.
But that effort is worth it. Your teen needs you to understand it. They need boundaries, guidance and a place to turn when things go wrong online.
The internet isn’t going away. Smartphones aren’t disappearing. Social media will continue evolving. As a parent, your job is to prepare your teenager for this world while teaching them the judgment and threshold they’ll need as an adult.
Start today. Choose one statistic from this article and start a conversation with your teen tonight. Ask them about their experiences. Share your concerns. Listen to their perspective.
These numbers are real kids in real danger. One of them is sitting in your house now. How you use that information could mean everything.
